Waiting is a trap!!!

"How much of human life is lost in Waiting."

~~Ralph Waldo Emerson

So True... All I seem to be doing these days is wait!!...Wait for my entrances to finish..wait for the results.. wait for further disappointment...wait for life to get more crappy... wait for another shot taken at me by life's bow and arrow...wait for life to make a little sense... wait for my sister to turn up online so I could talk to her...wait for a friend to message me asking how I am instead of forwarding me useless messages...wait to be told what more needs to be done...wait for myself to get more angry,agitated,restless,lonely... wait wait and More wait...

Sometimes it pisses you off when you realize how much you are willing to wait for the special people or happenings in your life.. However, as is the case for most things desired by your heart, the wait culminates into longing and eventually disappointment...Ahh.. what a waste!!!

“Years go by will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand... sometimes I hear my voice and it's been here, silent all these years...”

~~Tori Amos

Listening Now

Listening Now.. By Anjana Appachana

One of the best novels I have read till date.. Full of intense emotion and beautiful descriptions..

Some excerpts from the novel which aptly describe some thoughts and emotions which all of us have felt sometime or the other...

"A story that smiles can be rooted in a heart stunned and stunted with grief.."

"Never trust fate,or for that matter,tempt it. Remember that whatever happens, you must keep your belief in yourself intact.With that belief, you can survive anything.For, in life, anything can happen. Anything."

"Men don't look for brains in women.And if a woman has brains then men don't see it."

Life in all its glory(Read Crap)

Approaching the end of my entrances... The journey started some 4 months back with back-to-back entrances... The four longest months of my life... they gave me hope... they gave me anxiety.. they gave me nerves... they gave me sleepless nights... above all they gave me something to focus my energies on... After having finished my Graduation in May and having a lot of time on my hands, I finally had something to work towards... However, as is always the matter-A long standing joke actually- M came in2 focus again.. She and her self-obsession... I guess whenever I wanna do something concrete about my life and strive to carve a niche for myself Life in all its glory comes into play.... After all wouldn't it too bad if I did have something to be happy about?!!!..

Life's been very hard the last 4 years.. and its been EXXXTRA hard the past one year... somewhere along the way... and I can say that with firm belief... I have lost myself...not many would have noticed that change... Not even those close to me... All of them would describe it as my new-found maturity..wisdom...they say I've become responsible.. strong...I have become all of these.. but what is the price I have paid for all these high n mighty words... I have learnt Life's lessons-hard... One may say what's the big deal about it... everyone does... and may be they don't even make a hue and cry like I'm making... one may even say I'm being melodramatic right now.. but in my heart I know where my conviction lies...

I was a happy child.. I remember my parents and sister always telling me that I was an easy-going,happy child... That I Have been lucky enough to not have seen the difficulties they had seen when they where settling down.. may be even I had some stuff easy... But I never cease to wonder if God had cunningly planned me to enjoy the laughter of childhood to make up for the horrors of adulthood...or infact my early adulthood... Seems all I'm doing is fighting... always.. without being able to catch my breath... Like a roller coaster gone horrible wrong... like a train derailed... I don't even ask WHY ME?!!.. I ask... WHAT NEXT?!!.. And surely... like a serpent waiting to attack.. the next problem looms over my head...

I have become the mobile advertisement for sad-depressed-angry-frustrated.. and the best part is I can't show it to anyone... for I would hate any sympathy that may come my way...besides that I'm pretty used to the happy and content mast i wear.. No doubt its been put to test much more lately.. However I am determined not to lose this battle...

Wish I were a child again... when all I had to worry about was petty fight with friends or telling dad what I wanted for lunch the next day in school tiffin...

The song from 3 Idiots is so apt... It could be my song for life...

Give me some sunshine
Give me some rain
Give me another chance
I wanna grow up once again ...

If only I had that second chance at growing up... 'cuz I most definitely missed that stage when I had to grow up quickly...for my sake or for those who matter..

another turning point: Dear Roger

another turning point: Dear Roger

EXAM FEVER!!!

It’s that time of the year again when students like me actually start studying Or atleast try to! Well.. the college going especially….Being in one of the toughest courses in DU- Economics Is enough to knock the living daylights out of anyone.. leave alone we poor mortal souls!!!.. Trust me.. its Horrible and Horrifying…. And now that we guys are FINALLY touching our (course)books, it feels…STRANGE!!!... And hen to peep into the syllabi and its contents.. Oh God you are sooo GONE!!! This happens every time and every single time we promise ourselves and our Gods.. From next time we gonna start studying on time.. This was till it was the way it was… All this mumbo-jumbo for… NOTHING!!.. Its never gonna happen.. who we think we are kidding?!!/.. But I guess this is a quintessential part of being a STUDENT, being young… its pleasures and pains.. especially the pain in the BnB(Butt n Back!).. I can’t help but ask for the billionth time… why do we have to go through this torture… these exams?!!! Well some things don’t change like this love-hate relationship between students and exams… Till next time.. may be the next post-grad exams I end up giving!! 

I HAVE GOT A GREAT SISTER!!!

For me she is the BEST(EST!!) sis in the whole wide world.. besides being such an awesome sister, she is also a wonderful daughter, a trustworthy friend, sincere worker and to top it all a beautiful human being..

She has always done lots for my parents and me specially-being the big sis she is.. we gave had our share of disagreements which thankfully never culminated into big fights, may be because of the huge 13 years gap we have between us! Whatever it might be we have always understood and supported each other..

Both of us are Cancerians :-D and we share many similarities and traits even though we are considerably different by nature.. of late though she has started getting a wee bit more impatient.. we talk almost everyday but her work pressure has increased lately besides the added burden of shouldering responsibility of taking care of my not too well neither too easy mum! Though these impatient instances ar few I somehow feel guilty about letting her shoulder so many responsibilities.. even I get damn impatient when I feel tied down by too much stuff…

Im happy that she has got a great bunch of friends who pull her back and cheer her up!!.. besides she doesn’t remain so for too long being d CRAB she is!! And before I know my brooding and frowning sis is back to being the lively and loving di I know!!!... I just wish I could be of some help in times like these……..

Indian Political manifestos or the lack of them!!!

Looking at the manifestos of the various political parties, one can't help but notice how hard ALL OF THEM try to woo the voters... They bribe them, albeit in a subtle manner (though not always), promising them such goodies as one would not deem even feasible specially looking at the present economic scenario!!

Being in politics is like swimming in murky waters..Those already in the established parties wade with the utmost ease, infact adding more filth from their side... Those new to this political planet stand gingerly, testing their strength.. knowing they'll be blown away but still not willing to give up- to hang up their boots so easily.. No sir! not them.. WE THE PEOPLE have just discovered the power of vote.. Power to bring about a revolution..

But then I ponder who are we kidding?! Therez none, atleast not as yet,in whom we could have even an iota of faith... But then again i guess its better to support a known devil dan an unknown one!:-D Atleast till someone strong enough and firm on his own two feet comes to our rescue.. Who knows that time might just be round the corner or it might be sometime till such a dream takes shape into reality! Still we live in hope, for hope is gthe path ahead.. one of Optimism..one of Integrity!!!