Showing posts with label reality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reality. Show all posts

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Love thy neighbour?!

I guess it's not really appropriate for me to be writing this at a time when our neighboring country has been firing at us from across the border. But there were some really interesting events in my recent trip back-packing in Europe that stood out! Specially since I was a lone ranger finding my way out and about lands unknown. And hence, this one is worth mentioning. More so, since it involved people from across the border.

During the fag end of my trip, while on a day trip to Cordoba - a quaint little town in southern Spain, after having been in the scorching heat the whole day and finding myself getting lost in the wonders of the unique Mosque-Cathedral (Mezquita), Synagogue, the Roman Bridge, the Jewish quarters, amongst other places of times unknown, I was starting to feel deprived of all the energy to carry on... and alone.. 


It was a difficult day - a particularly hot, dry day - and I was suffering from a bad case of shoe-bite (Thanks to an impromptu shopping in the shopping frenzy of Seville even for a non-shopaholic like me!), I was feeling particularly lost.. More so, because I wasn't able to talk much back home, for want of a calling card (developed country,aye?!)

So, I wrapped up whatever there was to see, and started my way back to the railway station to catch my evening train back to Seville. Even though there was quite a lot of time left for my train, I was eager to be back, away from walking with my super-tired feet (did I mention I walked for 1.5 hours in a complete opposite direction in the morning? And then ofcourse had to come back and walk the whole day visiting the town of Cordoba - being particularly unlucky that day at catching local buses!). 

So, I was glad to be back at the station - tucked in with my bottle of 2 euro water (lol!), a nescafe iced tea (it was warm) and a sandwich to accompany me back on my 2 hour journey home. 

Along my platform there were only two benches, both of them occupied, and it struck me when the one bench closer to me was occupied by an elderly couple - and lots of bags!!! Yes - atleast 6-7 of them - big and small in size, some falling, some being held upright by the woman!

As I approached their bench, hesitant to ask them to make space for me, I was greeted by the smiling face of the elderly lady (not very old, probably my mom's age if she were alive) and she was nice enough to clear out the bags and bottles and knick-knacks for me. I smiled back and sat down, still feeling the sting of my shoe biting my skin :( But boy! I was glad to be sitting in an air-conditioned place. What a relief!! 

And then it struck me about a certain familiarity about them - something very, very familiar. I didn't know them ofcourse, but I could see that they belonged to where I came from! They looked like Asians (or actually Indian if I were to be honest!). Soon, I heard them talking amongst each other in Hindi - aha! And the hindi had traces of Punjabi (ofcourse I'm no linguistic expert, but itna to banta hai na?) 

It didn't take me long to discover where they came from. The smiling aunty soon turned to me and asked me where I was from and when I told them India, she started smiling even more broadly, her eyes shining with a sudden twinkle, and she turned to her husband and told him about me. She then went on to tell me, that they in fact, were our neighbors - they were from Pakistan!

Honestly, I've never met anyone living in Pakistan earlier. I know people from Pakistan look and talk similar (ofcourse since both countries share the same origin), I've heard stories from my family and other people about the similarities, watched Pakistani shows on the newly launched channel on TV - Zindagi. But this was my first, face to face experience with one. And lo and behold, they were exactly like us! (I don't mean to sound stupid, but all of us have pre-conceived notions in our heads)

They both were originally from Pakistan, living in UK for the last 20 years, and were travelling to Europe along with their daughter. Both of us got talking, the aunty smiling fondly at me - almost affectionate, and the uncle - being warm, yet a little uncle-types, smiling at me yet maintaining some distance, not surprisingly as I later found out, since he was a police officer in London! Tee-hee. The fact that they were also Punjabis like me somehow connected us on another level altogether. 

Apart from other things we spoke about, random chit-chat, what do you do, where you from, etc. etc., for some reason, the aunty looked quite taken with me, may be because I was a girl from a land she knew, and I was travelling alone in a place like Europe. I guess I had ceased to think much about my trip, but she seemed particularly proud of me and kept telling me how daring it is for me to be travelling alone like this, and wonderful. It gave me a feeling, almost, that she could see that women from a land she recognizes are finally venturing out on their own - something women from her generation might have been denied. May be, it's how I took it to be, or may be she was just happy for me, she sharing the same gender as me. Whatever the reason might be, she somehow made me feel nice and warm, and suddenly very delighted. 

I was no longer the Indian girl no one knew - or even shared a similar language or culture with. Suddenly, there were people I could talk to in my mother-tongue (mother-tongue : such a heavy duty word!), in an unfamiliar land. I guess it dawned upon me then, how much I missed my country, and how glad I was to find this woman who shared the same language and culture as me. No longer were we women from two different countries - from neighbouring lands, from enemy lands!

Suddenly, in the middle of that day, in that scorching heat, I felt the shade of care and affection, from a complete stranger, yet someone who felt so very safe!

I regret not exchanging contact details with them, they going their separate ways with their daughter and me going mine, feeling awkward at having lost someone unknown, yet so known. I just felt sad, for things having happened in our nations' past that no one has any control at, yet we might never know or realize in its entirety.

That evening at the railway station in the beautiful little town in Southern Spain, often lingers in my thoughts, and pulls my heart-strings, the sweet Punjabi aunty from Pakistan and her smile bringing a smile to my face too..


Saturday, September 20, 2014

Don't Smile no more!

22 May, 2014

They told me I was too nice - always "pleasing" 
They told me I always smile - never "demeaning" 
They told me to "give up" - saying "you'll mess it up" 
They wanted me to stick to "what I know" - for I may never grow  
I was confused. I was unsure. 
Was it that bad to be nice to people? 
Was it that bad to greet everyone with a smile and not sneer? 
Was it that bad to try something "new"? 
Was it that bad to not follow "norms" but instead do what I'm *required to do* 
They told me I'm good at team work! 
When it came to the death table - they left me to naught! 
I pushed.. I prodded some more... 
I sweat.. I bled.. 
Sleepless nights I had.. 
I somehow survived! 
Today - when it came to seeing the dream turn to reality  
They told me to step away and smile 
They told me to be nice and make way for others to be in the limelight 
Now I no longer smile (deep down) 
Now I no longer am nice ( to those I don't need to) 
I wonder who won - those who wondered at my smile - or those who snatched away the same with their smiles (lies!)

#Life #Reality #People  

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Why did we grow up?!! Random mishaps of the mind!!


I remember looking up at my sis who is thirteen years elder to me, envying the freedom she had.. to do what she wanted… going out with her friends… her opinions being valued by my parents cuz she was an adult, someone mature and responsible. I was so desperate to grow up.. so I wouldn’t have to wake up early to go to school.. so that I wouldn’t be scared in my Chemistry class ‘cuz I didn’t know a certain formula.. so that I could have the freedom to go out by myself.. so that my opinions are heard.

Today, I am somewhat there where I dreamt to be a few years back.. And looking back I question myself.. Was I in my right mind to want all those things while not appreciating what I had? I did not have a regular school life, thanks to having my mum at school.. But hey I was blessed with soo many wonderful friends.. those whom I treasure even today… I knew I would meet them the next day in school.. we would chat… we would play together… crib.. cry.. laugh… there would always be a tomorrow… A Saturday or Sunday meant heartbreak cuz that meant being away from friends…

I am 22 years old.. an adult if we go by age standards.. I earn.. I can go wherever I want.. with whoever I want… my opinions are valued.. in fact I make soo many decisions about so many things that it really scares me!! Life seems such an uphill battle.. If I’m happy, I’m questioning myself.. If I’m sad I’m blaming all the world and God.. to meet my friends, we all have to match our schedules.. then someone is free…someone isn’t! There is a constant battle in heart and mind about everything under the sun.. why the hell don’t we appreciate what we have till that is lost!! I wonder where life is taking me.. what’s right.. what’s wrong.. I question every action I take.. I cry watching a senti movie, then laugh at myself for being so stupid.. my heart and mind are at constant loggerheads… I miss my sister, I miss my friends.. I regret so many decisions in my life… I regret letting go of soo many people… and then I wonder what would’ve happened had I done things differently.. But then again, everything we say or do makes our life what it is today..

I used to get irritated earlier about the number of frndz and the lack of time to be with them all.. If I met one group, others used to be angry.. And I used to get tickled about how childish they acted.. Today I miss that.. I miss being missed.. I miss having the liberty of time… I don’t know where I am going.. what I am doing.. why I am doing.. Who do I wanna be with.. Who I wanna forget.. Wish life was just a little bit simpler… when the only decision I had to make was choosing the ice-cream flavor I wanted to have.. I soo wish not to show anyone what’s in my heart and mind.. Then again, I am pretty great at that as well, eh?!! I remember during winters I used to make caves with my quilt and pretended I was protecting my clan, my friends, my family within that cave.. Today, I again wanna roll back into that cave and just hide away.. from the world.. from myself.. my thoughts.. my feelings…

And at the end of these 600 odd words, I again wonder what the hell I wanted to write and what I actually put down!!!