DEAR 16 YEAR OLD ME

Hey you, yes YOU!

Not many people will tell you this, and those who do, you might not agree with. So may be, it's better if you and me have a little heart to heart.

You must be pulling your hair out, with your mind pulling you in a thousand different directions, and your heart unsure. But remember. 

You are not what people will make you, but what you will make of yourself. It’s ok to not know the chemistry formulae, and not be an ace at Math.

As you’ll soon realize, as long as you do what you like and what you believe in, and you do it sincerely, you’ll be fine.

Stop underestimating yourself  – Now I understand that you don’t think that you speak well enough, or look good enough, or write well enough – you’ll understand that there are people who would like you for who you are, listen to what you have to say, appreciate you for what you bring to them. Most of these most probably will be your friends and family. So, don’t forget them. Whatever you do, however successful you become, find time for them. You are not as bad as you think you are ;)

Laugh. A lot. Whenever you can – You’ll always have timelines to meet, stress to bear, complaining clients, work pressures, people undermining you, your heart being broken, you being misunderstood-often. Still, find time to laugh. Watching movies, talking with your loved ones, sharing old memories, doing things that make you happy. It’s easy to be bogged down in this world, every day being a challenge, with shocks and surprises galore round the corner. You just have to make sure that you don’t let life bring you down.

Find time : To kiss your father on his cheeks since he might be feeling lonely, to enjoy a glass of wine with you sister since she’ll be the one hugging you when you are feeling low, to pick up the phone and surprise call your girlfriends every once in a while since they are the ones who know your dirtiest secrets, your craziest dreams, to let the special people in your life know you love them, for making you smile each day, listening to you whine and hearing you sing karaoke in the worst of voice. These are the people you would always be able to laugh with. Whole-heartedly. Through tears and nostalgia.

Travel – As much as you can, as often as you can! You’ll realize there are so many things you might die without knowing, but which will change your perspective about life. There are so many roads to take, so many things waiting to be experienced, the drunken nights drinking with your buddies, the road trips taken through the length and breadth of your own country, and other countries, the different people and their life stories, of bravery, of restrictions, of freedom, of independence.

 Write. Whenever. Wherever. Even if most of what you write doesn’t see the light of the day, and is hidden in old diary pages, or notes of your phone. You’ll realize that writing will give you the outlet to vent out your anger, frustrations, and fears. Sometimes, the things you can’t tell anyone, the small happiness you can’t share with anyone, you’ll realize you can tell a piece of paper. And every once in a while, while dusting old bookshelves or cupboards, you’ll come across your old writings, and smile, or cry, and appreciate how far you’ve come.

Realize that nothing is permanent. Neither happiness. Not even the bad times. Yes, it sounds like its coming straight from a book. But the truth is, things will not always go the way you expect them to. You’ll lose people you never thought you would, you’ll discover people you never thought you’ll cross paths with, or who could mean anything in your life – turn to be the most important people ever. There will always be surprises in store, a lot of them that should shake you to the very core. You’ll realize then what’s important and what’s not. You’ll realize every time life draws you a blow, you’ll come out stronger. Sometimes, you’ll not understand what’s happening and why. In fact, a lot of times. Those times, you’ll realize there are some things best left to time. To see how they unravel themselves. For good, or for bad.

 Trust your instincts: The path is always not clear, but you just have to trust your instincts. You'll be right sometimes, a lot of times you'll be wrong. But atleast, it would be something that you would have decided for yourself. It's better that, than later blaming others for having taken decisions on your behalf. Probably for the worse. Your heart knows what's right, you just have to have faith that it will do you right.

Life’s an adventure, and its best lived with no expectations. If it turns out well, good for you. If not, it will surely be worthy of an experience worth remembering, worth being nostalgic about. 

With love,
YOUR 26-YEAR OLD SELF

El camino menos transitado

The Road Less Travelled

What does one do when you are in the middle of an unknown place, a culture as distinctly removed from yours as possible, and a language you couldn’t understand and pronounce even if you tried to learn from the best of mobile apps?

A chance trip – to Europe! That too, an official one. Nothing great in that, say you? What if I were to tell you that it was just the gateway to a backpacking trip in Portugal and Spain. A backpacking trip taken by me. Alone. For 15 days, most days even without a calling card!

Here I was, an Indian girl, gathering my wits about whether I could travel around Europe for 15 days by myself. And there it all happened, in the blink of an eye, and I had to gather all my courage to see the calendar date showing it was the last day of the most exciting adventure of my life. The single, most exciting and adventurous thing I have done – in my 26 years of existence!

I reckon few people can boast about having travelled to Europe twice before they turned 30! My first Europe trip happened 5 years back, when I was a 21 year old, just out of college kid. Making use of my sister’s stay in UK where she was working for a year, my father and sister sponsored my trip, a memory which is etched in my mind till now. After all, 20 days of travelling in Europe by car – with my sister and aunt, across 5 countries is something that is a once in a lifetime experience in itself.

Having said that, it was still a trip where all the planning (awesome planning!) was done by my all-knowing and adventurous sister. The fact that I was accompanied by my aunt from India meant that I had someone elder to guide me through, to tell me exactly what needed to be done and how. Moreover, it meant that I had someone looking over my shoulder, taking care that I don’t run into any trouble!

….

Coming back to my 2^nd trip to this amazing continent called Europe, it was as different from my earlier trip as possible. On the one hand, it was a trip funded by my hard work and hard earned money! My company was sending me to a beautiful quaint town in Portugal called Cascais for a global project I was chosen to work on. On the other, since I could not get anyone else to accompany me on this trip which I intended to extend for my personal travel, I prepared to travel to countries I had no familiarity with, travelling alone for the first time in my life for such an extended time period! I was excited. More than that, I was scared. So much so, I had dreams of driving alone into the horizon with no path in sight days before I was to venture out on my solo trip!

Now Portugal isn’t a place a lot of people think of as a travel destination – especially Indians. Apart from the fact of course, that it borders a very exotic country whose language exudes charm! SPAIN! If someone has asked me about my to-go-to places, there is a very little chance I would’ve chosen Portugal! Especially when there are so many other exotic and well-known places to go to. As it turns out, I was destined to start my journey from this charming country, with such beautiful people and food! A country where people go out of their way to help you out – even when they can’t understand a word you say – and neither can you!

Now having been given the chance to travel overseas, especially to Europe, I was counting on my sister to accompany me. However, when that didn’t work out, I was in no mood to cut short such a chance. Hence, after having been given the possibility of travelling alone, probably back-packing, by my sister, I made up my mind and started planning! Now I am a planner by profession, a media planner at that and daresay, I am good at what I do! However, as my family would vouch for the fact, I am not exactly well known to be a great planner in my life. In fact, I seldom plan, and the few times that I do, my life seldom goes according to my plans. But since I had made up my mind to go travelling alone, I also faced the daunting task of planning! For my travel! All by myself!!! Trust me, it beats any media plan I have made in my life for the even the most challenging clients!!!!

The toughest task about planning your travel is to decide where to start! You don’t know what’s out there to see, you don’t know where to go, how to travel, where to seek accommodation. Especially when the primary reason for your travel is business, you have to plan everything around it! Thankfully, I come from a family of well-travelled people, especially my dear sister – the most adventurous of us, and daring too! :D

So, post a few tips from her as to where to look, etc. I set about making my itinerary. As it turns out, your itinerary is one the most challenging thing about travelling. Once you start researching about your travel destination, you get thrown so many ideas, suggestions, and places to travel to! More so, in today’s day and age of living the internet life! There are just too many options!!! But alas, you have to put breaks on your excitements, start being practical and realistic about the places you can do. And the ones you want to, but can’t. One also needs to keep in mind and bear with the fact that itineraries change, and they will, till the last moment! You can’t expect everything you plan to fall to a T.

My itinerary set: Portugal (Lisbon-Porto-Cascais) – Spain (Sevilla-Cordoba-Granada-Cadiz-Barcelona), the second biggest thing in the travel check-list comes the place to stay! Now, since I was travelling by myself, and having read a lot about back-packing in Europe, I was sure about one thing – i.e., I would be staying in hostels! Hostels??? For Indians, hostels are not a familiar thing, except while growing up – while or school or studying engineering, college, etc. I’m sure it’s something everyone in the West is familiar with, but the country I come from, a good way to travel is a good hotel! Or a cheap one, if you can’t afford!

So, scavenging through Tripadvisor’s various travel forums, apart from reading on other forums on Spain and Portugal about places to stay, I zeroed down a few hostels. The next few days were spent in going over and over those hostels, reading reviews, rating, checking, re-checking the terms and conditions, the directions to the hostels, how accessible, how comfortable, and friendly? It is a crazy task, but the moment your hostel bookings are done, it feels so much more real! Yes!!! I was going to go back-packing in Europe!!!! *bells ringing in the ears, stars twinkling in the eyes, while the heart goes thud-dud-dud*

As it turns out, I did manage to sail through 15 days of non-stop excitement, adventure, getting lost, finding myself, learning how to read a physical map, meeting strangers and making friends I would cherish throughout my life, learning to eat alone and not fiddle with my phone. You see, staying alone makes you find yourself, realize how strong you really are, makes you understand how it’s ok to trust strangers and how it’s important to trust your instincts!! More than anything, it makes you realize how important it is to learn to be comfortable in one’s own company, and start appreciating and enjoying it.

We live in a world of utter chaos and noise. We are always surrounded by people, work, stress, deadlines, destinations, gadgets! What if you suddenly found a time and place where there are no deadlines being shoved down your throat, no hurry to zig zag your way through traffic amidst flaring tempers, when there’s no errand to run at home, when there’s no mobile phone connection to watsapp/check facebook or even randomly go through your friends’ social profiles. You understand then, that the most important company you’ll ever find is of your own. The one that will tell you to calm down when you are lost. The one that will give you the courage to keep going even when you have blisters on your feet since you have a train to catch and nowhere else to go. The one that will tell you how its ok to sit alone in a café full of people and just appreciate the food that has been so beautifully laid out in front of you, looking over at a beautiful river or city-side.

More than anything else, it makes you cherish and appreciate all the things you left back home – the familiar ATM, the public transport where you get fleeced off 10 extra bucks but which still takes you through the well-traveled paths, the familiar bed which welcomes you each night after a tiring day, your own house where everything is YOURS. And most importantly your family and friends, those people who are always taking care of you, every single moment – in their actions or their thoughts and who make you feel safe and loved every single moment of your life!

As to where all I went, what all I did – some crazy, some not-so-crazy moments, europa cuaderno de viaje se tardará en llegar!!!

Manténganse al tanto ;)

Emotions

23 May,2014

If people question you for being "emotional" - or judge you - do not feel guilty - for passion is also an emotion - and without passion - one can't go full throttle after what they want - to do and achieve. If you put your all into something - you are bound to be emotional - and there's NOTHING WRONG WITH IT! 

Don't Smile no more!

22 May, 2014

They told me I was too nice - always "pleasing" 

They told me I always smile - never "demeaning" 

They told me to "give up" - saying "you'll mess it up" 

They wanted me to stick to "what I know" - for I may never grow  

I was confused. I was unsure. 

Was it that bad to be nice to people? 

Was it that bad to greet everyone with a smile and not sneer? 

Was it that bad to try something "new"? 

Was it that bad to not follow "norms" but instead do what I'm *required to do* 

They told me I'm good at team work! 

When it came to the death table - they left me to naught! 

I pushed.. I prodded some more... 

I sweat.. I bled.. 

Sleepless nights I had.. 

I somehow survived! 

Today - when it came to seeing the dream turn to reality  

They told me to step away and smile 

They told me to be nice and make way for others to be in the limelight 

Now I no longer smile (deep down) 

Now I no longer am nice ( to those I don't need to) 

I wonder who won - those who wondered at my smile - or those who snatched away the same with their smiles (lies!)

#Life #Reality #People