I dreamt of you last night. My first dream about you in 5 months since you passed away! Does that mean you still remember me? Or is it that I have been thinking about you a lot lately? Since the night of your death one thought that keeps bugging me is you me desperately trying to feel you around me and unlike dad or di, not seeing you in my dreams even once! Stupid at it may sound, the thought of you forgetting me has been no short of a heartbreak to me! I don't understand death, after-life, heaven or hell. In fact, I don't understand life at all, for that matter! But I had this notion from somewhere, that if nothing else I would have you in my memories and since memories make our dreams a lot of times, I'll see you around!
The stangest part was that even in the dream, I was fighting people, circumstances, things to reach out to you. As I said before, the dream was nothing less than WEIRD! And all I could think of was. Thank you God. For making my mom return to me. Human beings are so weird. When you have someone with you, you don't have the time to spend with them. Or you waste time in petty issues or stupid stuff. Never appreciating what life is giving us. A chance to be with people who love you, inspite and despite youself. However, when you truly appreciate someone, it's only when they have left you. Physically or otherwise.....
The timing couldn't havee been more perfect, or more weird! With red, swollen watery eyes and a running nose and pounding headache, I was in the throes of deep uneasiness and was in and out of sleep. I needed something to take the pain away. Somewhere around the early hours, I see this strange dream of you coming back to me, coming back to us, in our old house. I mostly don't remember dreams. Or rather, I dream so rarely and most of them aren't important enough to remember I guess. But this one. This one I remember so clearly. And I remember knowing even in my sleep and in my dream that IT IS A DREAM! But wishing, oh-so-desperately that it were the reality. That you had actually come back to us. In our home. With dad, di and our friends and relatives celebrating your return-from life, from the place no-one has seen!
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