The guy in the Red shirt!!!

He was unlike any other guy I had ever laid my eyes on. With eyes so trusting and such a gorgeous smile, I wondered how anyone in the vicinity could not but focus just on him. His red shirt and shiny dark brown hair, with a few strands caressing his forehead, he looked like the most gorgeous thing on earth.

Sitting at a bench near a small fountain, in the middle of a crowded market in Switzerland, on a beautiful sunny afternoon, that guy in red shirt simply took my heart away. And the best part? He had reserved his special smiles, naughty glances and undivided attention to no one else in that crowded street but me! What started as the sharing of a few glances and small smiles and of course his little gifts of love..he simply made the trip that day worthwhile!!

The woman who was accompanying him had her eyes firmly on him. Thankfully, she didn’t mind him shooting me the special smile or the mischievous glances or even coming to my bench every now and then. Within the next half an hour, we had caught the attention of every person, young or old, near that lovely fountain. Some looked amused by his antics, while others looked at me, clearly a foreign girl in that area, with curious glances. However, nothing could sway his attention from me. What started out as hesitant glances towards me went on to become a full blown public affair, with him showering me with a gift so unusual, that too every 5 mins!

After stopping him a few times, but clearly not getting the desired response from him, and with me not showing any signs of boredom or irritation either, the woman accompanying him also found a quiet corner under a huge tree, getting busy with her thoughts, glancing at us every now and then.

My sister, who had been bugging me throughout our Europe trip, for being such a bore and not even trying to talk to any handsome young man who crossed our paths, was clearly enjoying this and in fact, egged me on to respond likewise to his unbiased showering of love and how can we forget, the pebbles ;-) Don’t worry, he wasn’t showing his love by hitting me with pebbles or anything, it just happened to be the only thing he could get his hands on and could give to me!

I can say, without hesitation, that he has been the most handsome guy till date who has hit on me, and that too so openly! Ahh, that smile and the beautiful eyes.. Anyways, I have always been a sucker for beautiful and deep eyes. So he was, in fact, the ideal package for me. He made up for di and masi having pulled me to go shopping with them! He just made it so worthwhile! Alas! All good things must come to an end. And that gorgeous little guy had to go away with that woman who had decided it was time to go home! All I was left with was his backward glances, the sight of his little red shirt, the twinkling eyes and of course, the pebbles! That gorgeous Swiss guy in the red shirt really took my heart away in that sunny afternoon near the fountain!!

Lost beyond the horizon..

I sat down thinking about you last night..

Remembering all the beautiful memories of the years gone by..

Saddened by the thought of having lost you and the memories to be..

Asking myself same questions everyday..

Not able to answer any, yesterday or today..

What I wouldn't give to have you here..

To hug me back and bring me cheer..

Smile I do, yesterday today and tomorrow..

The same smile masking all my sorrow..

How do I imagine a new day without you..

When all I have left are memories of me and you..

Never could imagine such a dawn would arrive

When I won't wake up with you smiling bright..

All the failures and aches and heartbreaks..

Could never match up the pain of losing you and missing you spades..

Oh! How I wish to hug you just once more..

Smell your fragrance and love you galore..

All the beauty of tomorrow is lost..

Lost beyond the sun.. lost beyond the horizon....

~~~ Deeksha

I dreamt of you last night...

I dreamt of you last night. My first dream about you in 5 months since you passed away! Does that mean you still remember me? Or is it that I have been thinking about you a lot lately? Since the night of your death one thought that keeps bugging me is you me desperately trying to feel you around me and unlike dad or di, not seeing you in my dreams even once! Stupid at it may sound, the thought of you forgetting me has been no short of a heartbreak to me! I don't understand death, after-life, heaven or hell. In fact, I don't understand life at all, for that matter! But I had this notion from somewhere, that if nothing else I would have you in my memories and since memories make our dreams a lot of times, I'll see you around!

The timing couldn't havee been more perfect, or more weird! With red, swollen watery eyes and a running nose and pounding headache, I was in the throes of deep uneasiness and was in and out of sleep. I needed something to take the pain away. Somewhere around the early hours, I see this strange dream of you coming back to me, coming back to us, in our old house. I mostly don't remember dreams. Or rather, I dream so rarely and most of them aren't important enough to remember I guess. But this one. This one I remember so clearly. And I remember knowing even in my sleep and in my dream that IT IS A DREAM! But wishing, oh-so-desperately that it were the reality. That you had actually come back to us. In our home. With dad, di and our friends and relatives celebrating your return-from life, from the place no-one has seen!

The stangest part was that even in the dream, I was fighting people, circumstances, things to reach out to you. As I said before, the dream was nothing less than WEIRD! And all I could think of was. Thank you God. For making my mom return to me. Human beings are so weird. When you have someone with you, you don't have the time to spend with them. Or you waste time in petty issues or stupid stuff. Never appreciating what life is giving us. A chance to be with people who love you, inspite and despite youself. However, when you truly appreciate someone, it's only when they have left you. Physically or otherwise.....

Jiyen kyun.. Dum maaro dum

Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na phone pe bulaoge

Na shaam ki karaari chai, labhon se yun pilaoge

Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na din dhale sataoge

Na raat ki nashili bye se neendh mein jagaoge

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, yeh raat baaki hai

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, saath baaki hai

Gaye tum gaye hum tham gaye har baat baaki hai

Gaye kyun toh jiyein kyun

Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na dooriyaan dhikhaoge

Na thaam ke woh josh mein yun hosh se udaoge

Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na jhoot se sunaoge

Na rooth ke sihane mein, remote ko chupaoge

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, yeh raat baaki hai

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, saath baaki hai

Gaye tum gaye hum tham gaye har baat baaki hai

Gaye kyun toh jiyein kyun

Aankh bhi tham gayi, na thaki

Raat bhi na bhati, na kati

Raat bhi cherti marrti

Neendh bhi lutt gayi, chiin gayi

Raat bhi na sahi, na rahi

Raat bhi laazmi, zaalmi

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, yeh raat baaki hai

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, saath baaki hai

Gaye tum gaye hum tham gaye har baat baaki hai

Gaye kyun toh jiyein kyun

Gaye kyun toh jiyein kyun

Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na phone pe bulaoge

Na shaam ki karaari chai, labhon se yun churaoge

Enough to boil the blood!!!

Crazy traffic.. crazy people.. crazy weather.. crazy moods.. enough of this craziness already!! How often have we uttered these words or atleast heard someone else saying the same? I, for one, would top the charts when it comes to going completely mad with anger at all the stupids who drive the roads as if they own it!! Well mister, you aren't the only one who thinks so. Every one here is here to commit murder.. they wanna kill every car approaching them and thrash every little bugger who would even dare to cross paths!! I am no saint when it comes to driving! I love giving angry looks to any male chauvenist pig who would dare look at me with insolent eyes. Dude, I would hit your car/bike/person just to prove a point. And anyways you think me being a female, I would not drive well, so I should just prove you right. Thankfully, with my temper, I also carry my brains with myself. So I'm YET to do something so stupid.

However, all this craziness makes me think I'm also among the rat-race I so despise. I'm also doing what I can't tolerate in the other crazy junta. Does that make me yet another brick-in-the-wall? A nut-case who's out to smack someone just for the sake of it. No one could accuse me of being an angry young woman. In fact, I so rarely show my emotions, especially anger, that I sometimes wonder whether I put my angry cap on only when I'm driving? Phew!! Some questions are best left unanswered. Or shouldn't they?!